God is father to the fatherless. We just call ’em bastards.

I used to know a woman who did parent education with low-income, teen moms.  One day we were talking about teaching basic nutrition and moms putting soda in baby bottles (something which is simply unimaginable to the sort of moms I hang out with).  She explained to me, “usually she is trying to be nice to her baby.  She likes soda.  She’s a teen so she thinks everyone is making a big deal out of nothing if they say soda is bad.  And really, she just wants to give the baby something that they will enjoy having.  Then the baby is quiet and she feels like a good mom.”

And I thought about it and kind of nodded my head.  Obviously, we’re talking about mom-kid who is fatherless and has probably been abused.   Her own mother who was probably the same.  There’s actually a developmental point where a baby who wants to share starts to understand that what she likes isn’t always the right thing to offer to someone else.  But that happens in toddlerhood.  And then for a little while I decided that these girls must be really messed up to think it was just being nice to let their babies drink cola.  Until I reminded myself that I regularly let my kids drink out of my coffee mug and will even make them their own mini-cup as a treat.  Um, maybe they are just adolescents with really bad taste and a teenaged perspective on life doing what many parents do sometimes?  Many people do say that adolescence and toddlerhood are pretty much the same thing after all.  Continue reading

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