Spotting a Sociopath in the Wild

shifty_eyesThe sociopaths I have had the misfortune to know all watch people very closely, gauging their reactions & plotting their next move. They very quickly figure out how to present themselves in order to gain whatever advantage they happen to be seeking with each person they engage with. They will decide that one person will adore them and another will be appalled or frightened or awed and set about making it so. If they’re good enough at it, they will speak one sentence to a group of three and each will hear something different – a threat, a need, a sense of comfort, whatever it is that suits the sociopath’s need.

Managing how they are perceived is a constant concern which can give them an air of distraction. Even if you see what they are doing, it’s hard to tell if they realize what they are doing. Perhaps they simply don’t realize? In fact, these games they play are always on their minds.

Remember when people used to say they distrusted someone because they had “shifty eyes”? That wasn’t entirely without cause. If you watch a sociopath, and you catch them when they think no one is watching, they’ll be scanning the room. Not just when standing alone, but in the middle of intense conversations when the other person is so intent on what they are saying that they’re no longer focusing any attention on their conversational partner. The sociopath is still listening, still giving verbal signs of engagement, but their eyes are scanning around them, observing details, gathering data points they might be able to use later. If your eyes meet, the sociopath might wink and look away after taking note that you’re watching too.

Sociopaths are just very dispassionate observers. They may seem reactive, but if they lose control, it’s because they gave themselves permission to. They’re far more in control of themselves than you or I often are. At least the slick ones are. It’s what allows them to plot and scheme against everyone they come in contact with. So next time you’re in a crowd, see if someone nearby has shifty eyes and you just might catch a sociopath. Or they might catch you.

 🙃 PS Don’t you love the new emoji they made for me?

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The Christmas Bird

Instead of doing my Christmas shopping a couple of years ago, I recorded this. It’s perfect for sharing with the kids, if they are the sort who will listen to a recorded story.  Grab a cuppa whatever suits you best and listen to the dulcet sound of my voice sharing a heartwarming Christmas story about a farmer, a bird and a little boy. It will be the best 11 minutes of your day. 🙂

For those of you receiving this via email, here’s the link to the recording on soundcloud.

His Eye Is On the Party Sparrow

Last night when I sat down for my bedtime prayer/meditation, the face of the chaplain who runs the chapel at the local truck stop  came to mind very clearly and I heard God say, “I want you to go talk to Tim.” (Tim’s the name of the chaplain.) So I was like, “ok, but tomorrow’s Monday and Tim’s not going to be at the chapel.”

God says, “don’t worry about it. I’ll arrange everything.”

Well, alrighty then. So I continued with my prayer/meditation time wondering why God wanted me to go talk to Tim. When I was done and about to go to bed, I realized that I hadn’t gotten around to putting gas in my car that day. Long story, but there’s no cash in the house and only one card for the bank account which my husband was going to be taking to work with him in the morning. And I have a broke kid who needs to be at his own job the next day. I had just enough gas to drive to the gas station and that was it. Because I’m super responsible like that. It was around midnight, but if I didn’t go put gas in the car before going to bed, it was going to be a messy situation.

So, I grab the card and load the dog up to be my bodyguard and headed to the truck stop. Normally I’d go to the gas station across the street, but I figured maybe Tim was pulling a late nighter or something and that was why God told me to go talk to Tim. Well, Tim wasn’t there, but there was this kid sitting on the ground outside the truck stop. He looked awfully young to be a hitchhiker, but drugs are a hell of a thing, so I ignored him. It’s not like I was going anywhere anyways. Continue reading

The Christmas Bird

Instead of doing my Christmas shopping, I made this for y’all. Grab a cuppa whatever suits you best and listen to the dulcet sound of my voice sharing a heartwarming Christmas story about a farmer, a bird and a little boy. It will be the best 11 minutes of your day. 🙂