Psalm 73 ~ A Meditation for the Weary, Bitter, Stumbling Soul

These were the words I needed this week:

Psalm 73

Surely God is good to Israel,
To those who are pure in heart!

But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling,
My steps had almost slipped.

For I was envious of the arrogant
As I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For there are no pains in their death,
And their body is fat.

They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like mankind. . .

They mock and wickedly speak of oppression;
They speak from on high.

They have set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue parades through the earth.

Therefore his people return to this place,
And waters of abundance are drunk by them.

They say, “How does God know?
And is there knowledge with the Most High?”

Behold, these are the wicked;
And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
And washed my hands in innocence;

For I have been stricken all day long
And chastened every morning.

I haven’t made a secret of the fact that I’ve been on a wretched and miserable path for a long time now. But what I’ve been a bit more reticent in sharing is that seemingly at every turn, there have been people just waiting to condemn me for my wretchedness. Those who did evil to me would criticize me for walking down paths they had helped to push me onto. Those who turned me out when I was weak would point to my homelessness to condemn me. Those who cut refused to have me around would express shock at the company I was able to keep. Those whose actions crippled me complained bitterly that I was lame and slow no matter how good my work was or how remarkable my healing had been. When I would point to God as the northern star I was following, the response was just like in this psalm: “what does God know? Is he going to pay your bills or fix your car or mend your relationships? Forget God – look at the mess you’re in!” Continue reading “Psalm 73 ~ A Meditation for the Weary, Bitter, Stumbling Soul”

I asked God to hit my husband with a bus

It has long been a practice among those who want to learn how to pray to pray a psalm each day – preferably by starting at the front and working through them in order.  When you do this, you find that some days the psalm speaks to you and some days you are praying someone else’s prayer.  Which is as it should be.  The point … Continue reading I asked God to hit my husband with a bus