Once upon a time, I wrote on this here blog so frequently that mere mortals had a hard time keeping up. Strangely enough, all that writing never turned into the massive money-making machine one would assume. Sad though that is, it’s fine because I’ve found a new money-making venture that’s sure to lead to the fame and financial windfall which, I’m sure we all agree, … Continue reading Wanna Help Me Change the World?
Do you know what I don’t like doing? Arguing with conservative Christians. I used to do it. But it’s pointless. Sometimes someone is so many different kinds of wrong that it’s hard to know where to start. And why bother? Arguments have been made, the sides staked out and scripts provided to all involved. It’s just the same conversations over and over again. As is … Continue reading A Bunch of Noah’s in Nashville
I’ve mentioned a couple of times now that I have a dissociative disorder. A derealization disorder, in fact. Which means that when my dissociative disorder is triggered, nothing around me seems real. Sometimes things literally look like movie sets and sound stages to me. I can’t even watch movies when it’s bad because when everything already looks fake, bad acting takes on a whole new meaning. When it comes to dealing with people, it’s like being locked inside a glass bubble where sounds can get through, but they’re muffled and removed from much of their meaning somehow. I read an article about it once which described disrealization as the loneliness disease. Obviously you can’t connect with anyone when you have a hard time even seeing them as real.
Because my dissociative disorder started by the time I was 17 months old, I grew up with no conscious experience of being able to consistently see other people as real. I just assumed that this was what it was like to be human. It certainly explained the way people treated each other; if the people around you feel like objects, then you’re going to treat them like objects, right? But I knew that other people actually are real, even when they don’t feel real. And I knew what it was like to be treated like objects. I didn’t want other people to feel like that, so I decided that part of growing up and being fully alive must include learning to see other people as real rather than as actors in my environment.
Probably around age 11 I started just watching people, trying to imagine what it must be like to be them. I would watch the way they reacted to things and think, “why did they have that reaction and not a different one?” After I became a committed Christian in early adolescence, I became more intentional about it. I’d pick out people who seemed the least real, the most scary or the least appealing and think about what it might be like to be them. I’d look for things to love about them. In the process, I learned to see people as real. And to this day, whenever I notice that they don’t seem real to me anymore, I make myself really look and think about and try to imagine loving them.
Of course, I wasn’t diagnosed with the dissociative disorder until the summer of 2014, so I didn’t know that the rest of y’all didn’t need to spend nearly so much time thinking about other people in order to remember that they are real. Apparently it’s happens instinctively and unconsciously for some people. Who knew? Thankfully, I was motivated by the teaching to love our enemies and the least to really work at dealing with the problem. And then some, because I am an American after all. If a little is good, more must be better. Continue reading “All People Are Real”
I didn’t mean to make this an all Trump Monday, but I suppose it’s appropriate given the electoral college vote this morning. Which I’ll probably have something more to say about tomorrow. But now that that’s done, we have a very serious issue to grapple with that I think we’d be fools not to take seriously. It boils down to three straight facts that probably … Continue reading Let’s Be Real About What We’re Looking At Here
Everything has a price. It’s a rule of the universe. The problem we have is that love demands payment, up front and in full at the most inconvenient times. But once the price of love is paid, everything else comes easy. Fear, anger and cruelty, on the other hand work like a massive balloon payment that start off easy and then suck us dry before … Continue reading Pay Now or Later
I’ve been seeing this meme floating around and it’s incredibly apropos for the times we live in. The Greek word for “apocalypse” is to unveil or reveal. Welcome to the apocalypse, peeps. We’re going to be alright. It just takes a bit to work all the mucky stuff out of the system. Be good to each other, k? Continue reading Welcome to the Apocalypse, Peeps
If you really want to love people, probably the most important thing you can do is learn to recognize when someone is in pain. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Pain often sounds like anger, like a bad attitude, like defensiveness, like hostility, like self-pity or withdrawal. But if you respond to the pain underneath and offer patient grace for the anger, attitude, hostility … Continue reading If you really want to love people . . .
More about this poem here. Continue reading The Beauty I See In You
So one day I will write what passes for a normal blog post around here again. But I am happy and I am content and I’m not entirely sure how to write when I am happy and content. But I’ll work it out eventually. In the mean time, I wanted to ask your help with something. For a while now, I have had the good … Continue reading Operation Saris for Grannies