When Someone You Love is Making a Big Mistake

Sometimes someone you know is doing something that any idiot – yourself included – can see is heading for disaster.  Most likely the person doing this knows that everyone thinks they are making a huge mistake.  (If they don’t, if you are any sort of friend you need to be brave enough to gently raise it with them.)  Once they know that others do not approve of their course of action, let it be.  Don’t bring it up or give your opinion unless you are asked directly.  No matter how right you are or how much you think the other person needs to be dissuaded from their course.  Leave it alone.

Here’s why: you may be correct, and if you are, your friend or neighbor or relative is going to need support when things fall apart.  If you have been a vocal critic, it will be very hard for them to turn to you when their time of need comes.  And being able to support someone who needs it is far more loving and important than being able to say, “I told you so.”

On the other hand, you may be wrong.  Things may work out according to your friend, neighbor or relative’s wildest dreams.  In which case you will be remembered as foolish and shrill if you allowed yourself to harp on the issue.

Either way, there is nothing to be gained by trying to make someone see reason once they commit to their own chosen their own course.  But if you are willing to let the matter go and just walk alongside them, you will be there to share in the journey – whatever the outcome.

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