It’s not pretty, but here is where I am:
I have waited on God for years and he has not answered me. He has not provided for me or defended me. I followed Him always and He took me to places that have turned my life into a nightmare. So I counted it as a blessing and kept walking according to His way, hopeful that He would lead me through the wilderness. When I could not walk anymore, I waited faithfully for the rescue He promises us. But He has not come. I no longer have any hope that He is coming. I have been faithful well past the point of making myself a fool in the eyes of the world. Now I am overcome by despair and do not believe God is coming for me. Perhaps there is faith left in the body of Christ that can petition God for me because there is no faith left in me.