Tag Archives: kindness

  • The Right Way to Stone Those You Love

    January 25, 2012

    Leave a comment

    Missy Piggy Tattoo by Jamie Sapp. Inspired by my career making performance, no doubt.

    I’m not sure exactly what came over me, but one afternoon in the music room in junior high I was so charged up from a long day of doing anything I could think of to keep myself amused that I stood up and belted out the words “Look at moi! I’m as helpless as a piglet in a trough! . . . I get hungry just holding your hand!” like a 12 year old soprano Ethel Merman.  That afternoon, I remember standing by my mom’s bed where she was folding laundry and telling her a little sheepishly that I was going to be Miss Piggy in the school play.  It was kind of a big deal for me, but the thought of my family seeing me behave so outrageously was pretty mortifying.  And not only that, but I was going to be singing and dancing with a boy in my class.  In front of everyone!  A kind of cute boy even.  (Not that he could hold a candle to Justin Belt who was not only the hottest 12 year old ever, but inexplicably, spoke with an english accent of some sort.  I think I would have lost control of myself in some way if I had to dance with Justin Belt in front of everyone.)

    I, of course, stole the show.  Or maybe not.  I don’t really remember.  But what I do remember is something my mom told me after the show.  Some woman who I vaguely knew existed had sought out my mom and told her that I had “a voice like a beautiful bell.”  Now, I do love singing – always have.  But for many years, I had a huge hang-up about singing in front of people.  So, I really had to push past my comfort zone to make a big ham out of myself in front of my classmates and whoever else was there.  This woman’s compliment was my reward. 

    I now only have a medium sized hang-up about singing in front of people.  Continue reading »

  • The Altruism of Babies

    March 3, 2006

    Leave a comment

    I have a 13 month old baby who has recently started offering us portions of her food to share. Of course, she also throws herself on the floor and screams when you stop her from climbing on everything like a monkey. Basically I am living with both sides of the argument over whether people are intrinsically good or bad quite well. Really, it’s a stupid argument, IMO. If we’re made by or in the image of the divine, then we have something intrinsically good in us. If we also demonstrate a willingness to beat someone with a hard toy to get a cookie, then there’s also something intrinsically bad in us as well. But claiming that it’s one or the other seems preposterous to me.

    At any rate, all you have to do is look in the daily paper for evidence to support the idea that people are born bad and need to be civilized to overcome their fallen nature. But now science is scoring a point for those of us who think that’s far too simplistic a story line. A study published in the journal Science has found that toddlers show a natural tendency towards altruism (story about the study here). In the experiment the scientists performed tasks in front of toddlers while appearing to need simple help like picking up something which had fallen out of reach. The toddlers very consistently and without exception tried to help when they saw the need even though these people were strangers and there was no reward. According to one of the scientists who conducted the study:

    “The results were astonishing because these children are so young – they still wear diapers and are barely able to use language, but they already show helping behaviour,” said Felix Warneken.

    Of course chimps in similar studies behave in much the same way – they just aren’t as good at figuring out when someone needs help as human babies are.

    If nothing else, I suppose I should be glad that my daughter shares something in common with monkeys beyond an uncontrollable urge to climb. I wonder if baby chimps throw temper tantrums? Hmmmm . . .