I would quit
I have tried to quit
But it seems that I don’t know how
There is no window to submit your paperwork to
Or voicemail to leave a message on late at night.
You cannot march into God’s office
To announce your departure face-to-face
He will not reply, “I hate to see you go.”
No matter how hard
I try to quit
The well-worn ruts in my brain
Are etched out by more hours than I ever imagined
Spent in the company of the Divine.
The words carved into my psyche
Are taunting me and pulling at me
With that message I now want to quit:
“God is real. He loves you like a father
like a brother
like a servant
or a friend.
He loves me like a man
Longing for his beloved
Just wait. Just a little longer.
Resurrection comes with the dawn.”
I can no longer believe these
But I know no better guide to follow
Than these deep grooves
Sculpted into my brain.
Although now I am lost.
My lover will have to come for me.
If he is real
And if he is good.
I will know his voice
should it come
I have heard it often before