Rethinking Proverb 26:11 for the real world.
Think of a good friend; someone you genuinely like and care about. (Don’t use your spouse – too many in-law issues!) What sort of parent would you want for that friend? If you were somehow able to go back and parent your friend yourself, how would you do it?
“You go to the bathroom while holding a baby (bonus points if you were breastfeeding at the time). – You find yourself saying odd combinations of words like “don’t lick yogurt off the window”.
The best parenting analogy I have heard compared having a child to being given a plant.
It’s a very long story how it all came to be this way, but I am having the odd experience of raising a 16 year old and a 1 year old at the same time. I say odd not so much because it’s that unusual. But often I feel like I’m starting to get a sense of what sort of person my oldest son is turning out to be and wondering, “did I do that? Or is that just how he is?” I keep trying to see what I may have done wrong so I can avoid doing it again with this little person I’m just starting to raise. I haven’t come close to figuring that out, but I’m starting to have a much greater appreciation for the difficulty of trying to shape any other human being – even your own children.
- If this is the worst thing that happens to you today, you’re having a pretty good day.
“If your teen breaks curfew and you meet her at the door ranting, what do you think she’s going to focus on—the fact that she’s late or that you’re screaming like a lunatic?”
Although research has found that the way praise is often done is actually harmful and counter-productive, I think it’s important that parents not decide to just give up on the idea of praise and building their child’s self-confidence altogether. Our children depend on us to show them who they are and part of this is pointing out the good parts. How to be honest without being discouraging.
I believe that it’s one thing to tell a kid they are important and that they matter, but it’s something of a gift to them to be able to tell them how they have mattered. Then they’re not just a lowly child floating out in the world with no real base or purpose to start with. It grounds the message that they have value in their real world.
I have a 20 month old baby girl named Olivia. And she cracks me up. When I tell her “no” she says, “oohhh.” She does it just like someone going, “aw man!” She has this laugh that sounds like whatever she’s laughing at is the funniest thing ever.
Michaela keeps track of the compliments she receives. She has a list of accomplishments that she’s proud of and willing to share. When she’s struggling with something, she will calmly put it down and take a break before she gets frustrated and upset. She finds reasons to ignore negative things people say to her. If she realizes she’s wrong, she’s more likely to laugh at herself than anything else.
He created and administrates a facebook page with several hundred fans (I have less than 60 by comparison). None of them have any idea he’s not even old enough to be on facebook.
“Looking back at where we started, I never dared or hoped to dream we’d be this OK, this normal. But I guess that when God asks us to go somewhere, He sometimes has plans we don’t know about. Sometimes He just says, “leave your home and go to a place I will show you” and you just have to trust.” It’s been a long time since then, but it’s still true.
Not exactly about parenting, but this is what I tell my kids about the subject.